Sophia

Minimizing, Denying and Blaming	Using Male Privilege
Intimidation	Economic Abuse
Emotional Abuse	Coercion and Threats
Isolation	SEXUAL ABUSE
Using Children	Using Physical Violence

Minimizing, Denying and Blaming

Making light of the abuse
Not taking her concerns seriously
Denying that the abuse occurred
Saying that she caused the abuse
Blaming an outside event or situation for the abuse (loss of employment, drugs or alcohol, an argument, etc.)

Intimidation

Making her afraid by using looks, actions or gestures
Smashing things
Destroying property
Destroying her personal belongings
Abusing pets
Displaying weapons
Hiding or destroying important papers (passports, ID cards, health care cards, etc.)
Threatening to “out” the other person
Driving recklessly

Emotional Abuse

Putting her down
Lying about her immigration status
Making her feel bad about herself
Making her think that she is crazy
Playing mind games
Humiliating her
Making her feel guilty or responsible for the abuse
Constantly criticizing her parenting skills
Focusing on her insecurities, such as her weight or education level
Encouraging the children to participate in the belittling of their mother
Lying to her
Cheating on her

Isolation

Controlling what activities she is involved in
Limiting who she sees and talks to
Using jealousy to justify the isolation
Not allowing her to drive or have access to a vehicle
Not allowing her to learn English
Isolating her from friends and family
Moving away from friends and family
Not allowing her to have contact with people who speak her language
Threatening friends or family members so that they may be reluctant to have contact with her

Using Children

Making her feel guilty about the children
Criticizing her parenting skills
Refusing to pay child support
Using children to relay messages
Using visitation to harass her
Threatening to take the children away
Threatening to move out of the country with the children
Threatening to call CPS or INS
Threatening to harm the children
Teaching the children to disrespect their mother
Constantly undermining her authority with the children
Physically abusing the children
Not taking proper care of the children during visitation

Using Male Privilege

Treating her like a servant
Making all of the decisions for the family
Being the one to define both men’s and women’s roles
Expected to be treated with a level of respect that he does not return
Quoting sources such as the Bible to justify his actions

Economic Abuse

Preventing her from getting or keeping a job
Making her ask for money
Taking all of her money
Giving her an allowance
Making her account for every penny that she spends
Not letting her have access to the family income
Acquiring great amounts of debt
Refusing to pay child support
Not allowing her to complete job training classes
Forcing her to do illegal work

Coercion and Threats

Threats to kill
Making and/or carrying out threats to hurt her
Threatening to leave her
Threatening to commit suicide
Threatening to take the children
Making her do illegal things
Threatening to report her to the INS
Promising that the abuse will never happen again
Threatening to “out” her to family and employer

Sexual Abuse

Forcing her to engage in sexual activity
Refusing to wear a condom
Withholding sexual attention from her
Forcing her into pornography
Forcing her into prostitution
Making her feel guilty if she does not want to have sex
Normalizing the abuse, which can be especially confusing if it is the victim’s first sexual relationship

Using Physical Violence

Pushing
Slapping
Pulling hair
Kicking
Punching
Grabbing
Using weapons
Not allowing her sleep
Not allowing her access to medical attention
Not allowing her access to medication
Not allowing her access to food
Strangulation
Hurting her while she is pregnant

WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

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